A Kindred Spirit

Since coming out about our miscarriage last summer, I have experienced a kinship from women, near and far, who have been through the same thing. Some have said I am brave for being so open, but I don't think of it as brave, I think of it as real.

I recently read this post on Yummy Mummy Club by Kat Inokai Pembleton (you can follow her on Twitter @bumpandhustle). I immediately re-tweeted and reached out to Kat to tell her how much I appreciated her post.

She has been through so much and I could identify with her feelings and resulting anxiety. I appreciate how much she has shared and believe she is the true definition of brave. She continues to try and doesn't give up hope. And if she can, I can.

Please take a moment to read and share. You never know who might need it.

Go Back in Time

Most of my recurring dreams involve being back in the one bedroom basement apartment my mom and I shared until I was 12. I can recall all the little details, like the original brown rug over the cement floor and the scary storage room off my bedroom.

I also dream about being back in high school, retaking my OACs to get better marks, even though I've already completed university. This includes me forgetting my lock to claim one of the coveted lockers in the music wing on the first day of school.

I often wonder why I go back to these times in my life to relive different memories. I know there is nothing that I can do to change what has happened in the past, so I wonder if my subconscious tries to go back to satisfy the perfectionist that lives deep within me.

I'm able to remember everything so vividly, like it's seared into my brain and I wonder, will Lucas have these same memories? Will there be stuff that he won't forget, or worse, forgive?

Nevermind I will have to explain to him what OACs are.