Social Media Saved My Sanity

Those dark, early days of motherhood are a blur. Sleeping, feeding, eating, changing diapers - repeat every two hours. Some days I didn't know what was up or down. I couldn't remember if I had brushed my teeth that morning. I would forget to eat (or I would choose sleeping over eating). The world was still going on around me, but I was in this magic bubble of motherhood.

Prior to the birth of Lucas, my husband gifted me with a netbook for our anniversary. With a 10 inch screen, it could be easily balanced on one knee. At the time, we only had a desktop computer, so his rationale was to give me more flexibility on staying connected once Lucas came. Little did he know that it would become a life saver.

Within arms reach were so many resources for me - and new mom sites pop up every day. Yummy Mummy Club, Urban Moms, ParentCentral, Baby Center and so many more had articles and posts that I could turn to in a time of need.

The most important of these were Facebook and Twitter.

Facebook allowed me to reach out to friends and family with questions and concerns - some of whom I haven't seen since grade school, high school or university days. We were suddenly connected again through this common bond. Friends of friends were sharing information via my comments thread so I created a group for them to connect directly (now archived due to Facebook's new groups settings - I was unable to transfer for reasons unknown).

Twitter also allowed for the opportunity to go outside of my Facebook circle and lean on moms all over the world. I still follow the #zombiemoms on Twitter, who trade secrets and advice at the wee hours of the morning while breastfeeding, watching over a sick child, or unable to sleep with the worries of the world on their shoulders.

The netbook was so easy to type and handle while also nursing an infant. I felt like I was participating and not just cooped up at home.

A couple of months after Lucas was born, I received an iPhone for my birthday, which allowed even more flexibility. At the drop of a hat, I can instantly reach out to so many lovely parents to bend their ear or share a funny story.

So for some expectant mothers who have asked how to prepare for the baby ahead, I've suggested they surround themselves with resources. Parents who have been there and can share. It will make those early days feel not so dark.

My Own Worst Critic

There was a time that I thought I had figured out what I would do when I was a mother.

And then I had Lucas and I learned that I am my own worst critic.

Lucas weaned himself at about 9 months. He had no interest in nursing, pushing me away but then gobbling down a bottle of formula when offered. Then I turned on myself. How could I not nurse him till he was at least a year? If he doesn't get breast milk anymore, am I failing him? I had to push these thoughts aside and put his needs ahead of my own desire to nurse him. Lucas was in jeopardy of not getting enough milk so onto formula we moved. And I felt a bit like a failure.

I make Lucas' food from scratch. I do get a sense of accomplishment in knowing that I'm providing for him, but I'm also convinced it's cheaper. A bag of apples makes A LOT of applesauce. But there have been times when we've been in transit, travelling where keeping homemade food refrigerated really isn't a possibility. So we turned to the jarred foods, sometimes feeding him only one selection just to ensure he eats when he's being picky. I admit it - again I felt like a failure.

Lucas has figured out how to stand and now pulls himself up on to everything. He woke up from a nap with a bruise on his temple. And I felt like a failure.

Maureen Turner, a blogger at Yummy Mummy Club recently wrote about how parents judge each other. In reading her post, that I am my own judge and jury. I critique how I raise Lucas every day, wondering if I'm meeting some impossibly high standard that I've conjured up in my own mind.

I have to take time to step back and realize that a jar of food is not the end of the world. Neither is the bruise or the bottle of formula.

Lucas is happy so I should be too.

The Motherhood Connection

Ever since Lucas was born, my social network has increased. It's something about motherhood that makes us feel universally connected to one another. I've resurrected friendships from the past over stories of our babies and development, made new friends through baby classes and found great resources via Facebook, Twitter and mom sites like Yummy Mummy Club and Urbanmoms. Even though I haven't met some of these amazing moms, I feel like they are my back-up, my go to guide when Lucas is giving me a particularly rough time.

I even started up my own Facebook group so these moms could chat with each other and benefit from another's experience. This really started as questions posted in my status update that morphed into a group where any mom can post a question. It's amazing that when I find out someone is mom, I'm instantly open to sharing so much of my life. It's a common link of some sort.

I'm happiest about how motherhood has brought people back into my life. It's inevitable that with time and space, people can drift in and out of your life. Since Lucas was born, I've had the opportunity to re-connect with old friends who are now new moms - and they have turned into cherished friendships. For this, I am most thankful. I'm always up for a beverage on a patio with strollers...