365 Days

It was 365 days ago I was lying in a labour and delivery room at Women's College Hospital in Toronto. Lucas' arrival was imminent and I was scared.

I was scared about being in labour. I was scared about staying overnight in a hospital (I had never done that before). I was scared about how my life was going to change. I was scared about being a good mother. I was scared about this little life being put into my hands - to grow, nurture and love.

And then in the wee hours of June 28th, he arrived. More accurately, we went in and got him. He was beautiful - and big at 9 lbs. 1 oz. And he was all ours.

My fear went away when he was first put on my chest. When he snuggled in for a snooze after a rather dramatic entrance into the world.

Sometimes the fear creeps up on me. When we are having an especially hard day. When Lucas is sick or cranky or tired or hungry - or all of the above, which feels like the world is coming to an end.

And then he smiles, giggles, gives me a hug and a kiss and again the fear disappears.

Happy birthday to my little man - the best work I've ever produced.

New Routines

Time has flown by. Ten days ago I was returning to my career and now maternity leave feels like a lifetime ago.

The most challenging part is finding a rhythm in a new routine.

If we are lucky enough to wake up before Lucas (and not wake him in our movement around the house), we hope to get showers in along with any other prep. If Lucas wakes up, our routine shifts again as he needs a change and a bottle, with one of us tending to him as the other gets ready.

Then if we are lucky enough to get out the door, who's dropping Lucas at daycare - made infinitely more difficult this week with my office in the G20 red zone and cautions about driving to work.

Fast forward to 5 pm. Picking up Lucas, getting him home, trying to have a family meal together without getting dangerously close to bedtime.

Sprinkle in Lucas getting sick, then me getting sick and it's been an interesting week and a half.

And So It Ends...

Today is my last day of maternity leave. And Lucas has the croup.

I was expecting to feel different, but it feels like any other Sunday, even like those before I had Lucas.

I'm excited. I'm returning to a new role and am looking forward to working with a great team.

And I'm burnt out. Burnt out on maternity leave.

This past year has been one of new experiences, new challenges and new successes. Lucas is the greatest achievement I have ever had. But it's not over yet.

I'm hoping to keep the blog up to chronicle my experiences as I settle back into work, celebrate Lucas' first birthday and the ones that follow, as well as the many highs and lows we experiences as a family. Time is sure to be limited but I welcome this next phase.

P.S. Hedges between us and the bully neighbour are going up today. Another success.

And So It Begins...

Lucas begins his transition into daycare tomorrow.

Part of me is excited for all of the adventures he will have and the friends he will make.

And there is a part of me that has been holding him just a little bit tighter this weekend, taking a few extra snuggles and kisses wherever I can.

I went to daycare as a kid and I loved it. I was an only child so the friends that I had there were so important to me. Lucas is so good-natured that I know he will adjust well. He's already begun to take to his teacher and is very comfortable in the playroom.

So what will I do this week as he transitions? I have a laundry list of things to do - which ironically does not include laundry.

First, select the menu and caterer for his birthday party at the end of the month. Stop by the office for a visit before I officially begin next week.
Painting and odd jobs around the house prepping it for sale.
A pedicure and eyebrow waxing (fascinating I know).
Clothes shopping - for me, not for him.
Finally to top it off, a facial and massage at the Elmwood. That's my treat.

I'm hoping to keep the blog up after I return to work, but I'm sure my time is going to be crunched. And spare moments with Lucas will take precedence.

PS - for those who saw my bully post regarding my neighbour, upon my last encounter with his two sons, they taunted and teased Lucas while he was making noises in his stroller. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.