It was 365 days ago I was lying in a labour and delivery room at Women's College Hospital in Toronto. Lucas' arrival was imminent and I was scared.
I was scared about being in labour. I was scared about staying overnight in a hospital (I had never done that before). I was scared about how my life was going to change. I was scared about being a good mother. I was scared about this little life being put into my hands - to grow, nurture and love.
And then in the wee hours of June 28th, he arrived. More accurately, we went in and got him. He was beautiful - and big at 9 lbs. 1 oz. And he was all ours.
My fear went away when he was first put on my chest. When he snuggled in for a snooze after a rather dramatic entrance into the world.
Sometimes the fear creeps up on me. When we are having an especially hard day. When Lucas is sick or cranky or tired or hungry - or all of the above, which feels like the world is coming to an end.
And then he smiles, giggles, gives me a hug and a kiss and again the fear disappears.
Happy birthday to my little man - the best work I've ever produced.
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Fantastic post! I can totally relate with the feelings you shared...only Little One's delivery was a bit different. We weren't at Women's College--we were at Mt. Sinai. Oh, and Little One cannon-balled her way into our lives 3 months earlier than expected. Other than the NICU experience for her first 70 days of her life, the feelings and emotions were pretty much the same :)
ReplyDeleteFab blog! Followed you over via a shout out from BornFree that included us both.
Thanks so much for your note. It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way!
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