Bullies of All Ages

We've been looking for a house. Our reasoning is mostly weighted on the fact that we've been in our current home five years and are ready for a change, in addition to more space. We've been patient in trying to find the right house, but there is a sense of urgency.

You see, our neighbour is a bully.

He is a gentleman who bought the house next to us about six months after we moved in. He rented it out for a short time, then decided that he was going to build his dream house for his family. We were very accomodating as he built his house from the ground up. I won't bore you with the details but needless to say, since they officially moved in last fall, our relationship with them has slowly deteriorated.

There have been countless threats to cause us problems with any work we'd like to do to our house, as well as general rudeness. It culminated this past weekend where said neighbour called my husband names and again threatened to get a lawyer and generally make our lives miserable.

Now, I'll make one thing clear. We aren't scared. We have resources at our disposal too, but haven't made threats or ultimatums. We've stayed on the high road.

But as I hear this man argue at the top of his lungs with his wife (we can hear them even when they are inside their house) as well as when he stands on his back lawn yelling and threatening my husband, I wonder what type of example he is setting for his young sons. That when you don't get your way, you need to yell and get in someone's face.

I worry he's breeding the next generation of bully. Boys that intimidate because they don't know any different.

There is no way I will allow Lucas to grow up next to that example.

Hallelujah!

We have found a daycare spot.

When Lucas was still in utero, we put ourselves on the waiting lists of two local daycares that provide infant care. Really, at least a year in advance has to mean we have a shot, right?

Wrong.

My return date to work is fast approaching and we were the next NEXT spot on our preferred daycare. So a back-up plan needed to be put into place.

We started to look into home daycare providers. At first, we were disappointed. Again, I will remind loyal readers that my mom has been in daycare for 30 years, so I was looking for a certain experience. We met some very lovely home daycare providers, however the experience that Lucas would have in their home left much to be desired from my perspective. With some, it didn't even look like kids were in the home on a regular basis.

But then a saviour came in the form of a mommy friend I met through Rainbow Songs. She had a space in a home daycare centre for her son in September and suggested I give them a call. The centre is in the preferred neighbourhood for our house hunt so it seemed ideal as we would avoid pulling Lucas out of familiar surroundings if we find a house.

I called Friday. They had a spot for June! Even better, we went for a tour on Saturday and were extremely pleased with what we found. The parent references provided gave us additional peace of mind and we're calling tomorrow to confirm the spot.

It's bittersweet but I can rest easy that Lucas will be in good hands. Hallelujah!

You Say Pretentious, I Say Smart?

In previous posts I mentioned that we have a rather large extended family. All of our parents are divorced, and now remarried with stepsiblings, half siblings, full siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and great grandparents in the mix.

Lucas turned 11 months old today and his first birthday is fast approaching. When discussing his party, a small family gathering just isn't in the cards with our blended broods so we've decided to host an open house. Friends and family can stop by at their leisure, with our anchor being the all important cake moment.

My husband suggested we have it catered. On many levels, this is a good idea. As a Type A mommy, I run the risk of stressing myself out over all the details - food, decorations, beverages, cake etc. Having it catered allows me to enjoy my guests as well as revel in the miracle that graced our presence one year ago.

However, there is a little voice in my head. One that used to laugh at moms who would cater a one-year-old's birthday party. I mean, isn't that rather pretentious?

But now sitting on the other side, I see it as a godsend. And one that I will gladly take on, even if there are moms snickering behind my back.

Stupid People

Sometimes people are stupid.

Lucas has a great high chair from Graco. It can be attached to a booster seat (included) and then attached to a chair. We take it with us when Lucas has meals at his grandparents and for this weekend, we packed it up in the trunk to take to the cottage.

Knowing that the drive to Haliburton was going to be a challenge, we anticipated feeding Lucas dinner at our all important grocery stop. We chuckled as we put Lucas in his booster seat, safely in the trunk of the car.

As I was shopping inside, a gentleman approached my husband and asked if this is how Lucas rode in the car.

Honestly. I feel like this should be included in a SNL skit of Oh Really? with Seth and Amy.

My husband pointed out that we had the appropriate car seat in the back of the car to which the gentleman mentioned he wondered if it was a "new thing."

Yes, the newest thing is to put your infant in a booster high chair in the trunk of the car.

Honestly. Sometimes people are just stupid.

Magic Blanket - Update!

This past Saturday, I was on a mission. As previously mentioned, Lucas has chosen a certain Carter's blanket as his transitional object. It really is sweet to watch him suck his thumb and rub the blanket against his face, but we faced a dilemma: we only had one blanket of this kind.

My husband thought we would do fine with just one. Really? Having read my friend Nick's post on his blog about forgetting a beloved stuffed animal at daycare, I knew that one blanket was a recipe for disaster. It was sure to be left at home or at daycare in the rush of everyday life. So I needed to find more blankets.

Upon visiting the Carter's store in Richmond Hill, I found out that the certain pattern of our blanket (green one side, polka dot on the other) was discontinued. HOWEVER, they had the same design of blanket (double sided, 100% cotton), but in a different pattern (yellow striped one side, animals on the other). So I bought two.

Now what would Master Lucas say?

After washing one of the new blankets, I put it in his arms, replacing the green one that was desperately overdue for a wash. He immediately clasped it in his hand and rubbed it against his cheek. SUCCESS!

And it was on that day, I felt like a Mommy success.

Footnote: Lucas did notice the green one coming out of the dryer a couple of days later, looked down at the yellow one in confusion and started to crawl towards the laundry room. I quickly hid the green one and all was good again.

One Month

The countdown continues. Today marks one month till I return to work from maternity leave.

I was in the office a few weeks ago, firming up details of my return. It was so good to see my colleagues and talk about topics that didn't include poopy diapers, mushy food and sleep schedules.

It got my juices flowing.

Then I think about the fact that Lucas will spent 10 hours of his day with someone else. It's heartbreaking.

Even though it's heartbreaking, it's also a relief. And for that I feel guilty. I will get a break from the feeding, changing, napping, singing etc. As much as I enjoy it, it's tiring, exhausting, draining - all of the above. Is it horrible that I'm looking forward to pouring my energy into something else for a change?

Lucas is by far my best work. Really, our best work. And he will always be the best but I am excited about a change of pace. It's very similar to the change of pace I was anticipating before maternity leave. But now I know what to expect.

Magic Blanket Ride

Some little known facts about me: I hate folding laundry and I hate putting away laundry. I will allow the laundry basket to sit on the floor of the rec room or the bedroom and rifle through it every day as needed. The wrinkle release setting on my dryer is my best friend, as is my drycleaner.

Since Lucas was born, I now have two additional loads of laundry a week. More laundry, more folding, more putting away. I'm pleased with myself if I'm able to at least fold it. Often laundry baskets are within Lucas' reach and have since become something that fascinates him.

Last week, he was rifling through the laundry basket (like mother, like son) and pulled out a blanket of his that I had recently washed. He immediately started rubbing the blanket against his cheek and sucking his thumb. This blanket remained on the floor as he played, but he would always come back to it, either stroking it or laying down on top of it, sucking his thumb.

This really shouldn't surprise me. My husband had a blanket that went everywhere with him as a toddler, and I had two. It's only natural that Lucas too would find comfort and solace in a blanket. And it is magic.

He's whining but put the blanket in his arms and he immediately soothes himself. He falls asleep with the blanket in his arms, with barely a whimper. Fussing? Blanket helps him calm down.

I wonder if it's this particular blanket (pictured) or if I would be able to substitute with a similar blanket. I will test this theory and get back to you.

Did I mention we only have one blanket of this kind? Trouble.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. This being my first, it's already been a special day with my 10-month-old Lucas sleeping in (thank you!), a breakfast cooked by Daddy and Lucas (thank you!) and control over the remote (thank you!).

It truly is a special day.

Three Generations of Mothers

Lucas and I had a special errand this week. We sent Mother's Day cards to Lucas' four (yes, four) great grandmothers. He also has some step-great grandmothers, but again, I'll save that for another post.

Lucas is lucky enough to have three generations of mothers. Mother's Day upon us, it makes for a very special day.

This is my first official Mother's Day. This time last year, I was in the few final weeks of my pregnancy and this year, I get to celebrate with a hug and a kiss from my special guy. With this life change, Mother's Day too has changed.

I had a visit with my mom last week and she asked that we have brunch together on the Monday following Mother's Day. She said she realized it's time for her to step back and let my relationship with Lucas take precedence on Mother's Day. And I thought to myself, that's exactly what a mother would do, put her child before herself.

I don't know what is planned for Mother's Day. I'm taking a step back from planning and letting the day unfold with my two favourite guys. And maybe also with a glass or two of wine.

Changing of the Guard

The weather has been so nice that Lucas and I have been taking some epic walks along the Danforth. Every other mother in my neighbourhood has also got the same idea as we pass by mother after mother pushing a stroller.

Many are new moms, indicated by the bucket car seat attached to their stroller. It reminds me of last summer, when I first ventured out of the house after Lucas' birth. I liken it to the changing of the guard.

Have you ever been on a resort vacation for 10 to 14 days? You meet people the first week, but inevitably they depart after seven days. You watch the next wave of folks coming in and walk around the resort, trying to figure out where everything is, how the restaurants work, what drinks to order, etc. You may even chat with some of them, but you know you're leaving in a few days, so your investment in making new friends is minimal.

I feel the same way when I see these new moms. I met some really great moms while I've been on maternity leave and some even turned into friends I hope stay in my life for some time. I see these new moms, just starting their adventure and I want to reach out and get to know them, but it's tough knowing that it will be for such a short time. And soon time will become even more limited when I return to work.

Selfishly, I want these last few weeks to just be Lucas and I (with my husband in the mix of course). And selfishly, I want to make sure to spend time with mom friends that it will get more difficult to find time to visit once life gets in the way.

Enjoy the next year ladies. It will go faster than you can even imagine.

Daycare Dilemma

Let me preface this post by saying my mother works in daycare. She has my entire life and I truly believe she is the gold standard of early childhood educators. My mother has been the supervisor at three different centres but has returned to teaching as she really enjoys being with the kids.

I'm returning to work in June - and child care is becoming an urgent issue.

We put Lucas on waiting lists for two centres in our area before he was born and surprise, surprise, we still don't know if he has a spot. We're now looking into home care providers but my background knowledge of childcare through my mother really makes me quite picky.

Activities are important - not just playing with toys but experimenting with arts and crafts, improving cognitive skills, hand/eye coordination as well as language skills.

On the plus side, the cost savings are significant.

But I wonder about if we will put him into the right place for him - that will help him grow and develop the way we hope he will. That will provide him with direction and care and love.

And don't even get me started on the career mom guilt that is creeping up on me.